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Girls who've set their sights on older guys, beware.Dating a guy who's in high school when you're still in middle school, or who's a senior when you're still a freshman might seem cool, but it could get you into a lot of trouble."Just because a girl looks like she's 16 when she's only 11, it doesn't mean that psychologically or emotionally she's ready to date older boys...they are so much more skilled at this dating game than she would be, and they can manipulate her and hurt her," says Laura Choate, Ed D, a licensed professional counselor, associate professor of counselor education at Louisiana State University, and author of the book, Girls' and Women's Wellness: Contemporary Counseling Issues and Interventions.Whatever the reason, your parents might not want you to go out with anyone until you reach a certain age.Depending on how easygoing or strict your parents are, that age could be as young as 13 or 14, or as old as 18.Even if it seems like everyone around you has paired off, you want to go out with someone for the right reason -- because you really like that person. You also want to be with someone who will treat you right, she says. One clue is the way they treat their friends, teachers, and parents."The motivation to be drawn to this person is based on who they are as an individual ... If you're not totally sure about this person, ask yourself if it's worth getting into the relationship.
By the time they're in high school, guys may have gone a lot further than you're ready to go.not because you're the only person in your group who doesn't have a special someone," Gowen says. Also get your friends' input about whether the person is worth your time.One very important question you need to ask yourself is whether this person is safe for you to date."Don't be alone with a person you don't know very well until you feel more comfortable with that person," Choate says. Know exactly where you're going, what's happening every step of the way.You don't have to let the other person be in control of the date." Abuse is more common in teen relationships than you might think.